I Think That I Met Jesus Christ the Other Day, and He Was a Pretty Cool Dude
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For context, I went to Catholic high school, and I believe in follow Jesus, but I don't know for sure whether Jesus even existed, I do not believe in organized religion, and I cannot bring myself to say those several words that supposedly save my soul. At the same time, I think that I may have met Jesus Christ the other day, and he was a pretty cool dude. He's a homeless guy from the year 6,000 and he says that things get better.
For context, I have been going through divorce (king of pain, right?) for more than three years after an incredibly hard marriage, which means that I'm just getting started. The last few months have been especially hard. I don't eat well, don't sleep well, don't think well, cannot concentrate at all, might be hallucinating, etc. I have been reaching out in every direction for assistance, and what that means is making human connections.
I try to avoid fast food, but with COVID, most things near my house close around 8:00, and what remains open is not worth a stop. As I don't sleep well, and don't eat when and what I should, I need to eat at strange times. In fact, I recently fainted while getting water around 5AM and split my scalp on the shower door frame when I hit the floor. The stapled scar on the back of my head looks like it might be from a chip implant, so I like to joke that I got the (your preferred hardware vendor) chip, not that cheap (your despised hardware vendor) crap.
Anyway, it's been a rough couple of decades. Honestly, I try not to eat fast food, but I was desperate for calories, I'm not much of a cook, the kitchen doesn't have much, and my boys were asleep. So, sometime around midnight, I tried to walk to the closest fast food place, which is probably about three miles from my home. When I got there, it was closed; until then, I hadn't even known that fast food places could close; I thought the overnight overhead was less than the shutdown/startup costs, plus the marketing value, beating the competition, and whatever.
A bit frustrated, I walked back to my house and got in the car to drive to the next closest place. As I was pulling in, I saw what appeared to be a homeless man, maybe blondish, maybe about 30 years old. I'm sure that he told me, but I do not remember his name. I asked if he was alright and if he wanted something to eat. Seemingly a bit grudgingly, he got in the car, and we pulled into the drive-through.
He said that he wanted hot water for his cup-o-noodles, but the restaurant would not give it to him (if they did, there might be a line of homeless for miles, Portland rocks!). I was astonished and suggested that he get as much food as he could eat. He insisted that he was a vegetarian and could not eat there (there must have been something vegetarian that he could have eaten). It's embarrassing to say now, but I was angry and swearing about the restaurant, my wife, and who-knows-what-else. I was not rude to the service workers, but I probably was not as polite as I could have been under the circumstances.
We had an amazing conversation, but I do not remember what it was about. I wish that I could remember just a few more words, but whatever they were, it was the right time for me to hear them. I remember that he said something that I always feel and have said out loud several times recently: I cannot even find anyone to have a real conversation with anymore. He told me that he had been raised Christian but did not provide additional details. He told me that my swearing indicated that someone or something else was controlling me. He was adamant that the human race is still here and that things have gotten better by the year 6000. He's just looking for the transport device back now, stuck here for some reason.
Anyway, he immediately spilled his water in my car, so we went back, this time for a hot water and a cold water. For whatever reason, maybe because I had a car, this was a valid order, but when I got to the window, there was no charge. Assuming that I had been somewhat abusive on the previous round, I gave the teenager at the window $5. I remember that Jesus laughed when I did that.
For whatever reason - shift change, shake machine breakdown, act of God, or otherwise - we sat at that window for about 15 minutes talking. Eventually, we asked the guy at the window to just get the water, which he did, and we pulled out of line.
Anyway, either it was Jesus, or he was just some guy so dissatisfied with the circumstances of the modern world that he created this elaborate mental model to restore his hope and to protect his own sanity. I dropped him off at what I thought was his residence, as there was a pile of junk near a trash can. He encouraged me to take an illegal left turn to get there. I gave him the $6 that I had remaining.
I went back to look for him the next day, hoping to take him home for a conversation, a shower, or whatever he needed. There was no structure, just a bunch of garbage near the bin. I feel so bad because he had offered me a hug, but I said that he smelled too bad, which he had already known. I hope that he found his time displacement device. Sometimes, I would like to go there with him.
There is nothing more that we can do but help strangers. He helped me; I honestly don't know whether I helped him. I don't think he needed the water.
The next day, I met another guy, and we had a great experience - not as profound, but more human and lasting longer.
Strange days for me.